My Eating Is Out of Control {Part 2}

I had a long think after my last post regarding my new inability to cook delicious and affordable food at home, and how I have been spending stupid amounts of money buying take away food at the hospital where I am an an intern.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I looked at the state of my apartment, and decided that I had enough. How could I ever expect to have good lunches to take to work if my kitchen is mess, my spices are out of order and if the produce in my fridge are past its prime? And then I took a tour of the rest of my apartment, and I discovered a similar mess. Laundry stacked up, bathroom cabinet unorganized, even my dog’s toys were thrown about.

I started thinking about last summer, how I had my lovely balcony herb garden and how I was so eager to try new recipes from my many cookbooks. But, this year nothing… Saturday morning was filled with despair because I didn’t know where to start to make it all better.

But, then I started thinking about Gordon Ramsey. I remember getting hooked to his UK series Kitchen Nightmares in the early 2000s, where in each episode he tried to save a restaurant that was close to going out of business. I have watched the entire UK series and there was one reoccuring theme that happend in each episode that was paramount to a restaurant’s future success. The restaurant would get a good, deep clean. And, that is exactly what I did on Saturday. I cleaned every inch of my apartment, with a special emphasis on making my kitchen a place that I can make creative and inspiring food again. It is so easy to fall out of touch with the things that make us most happy. I love cooking in my little kitchen.

So what did I make this weekend?

Roasted sweet peppers with quinoa, pancetta, sundried tomatoes and fresh herbs. Okay, so it is not a British recipe, and the idea of a stuffed pepper is a little bit 90s and out of style. But, hey! Its a start. I also transformed my balcony into an urban oasis, and I am connecting with my foodie spirit. New British recipes to come! And yes, I have lunches prepared for my entire work week!

My Eating is Out of Control!

The picture above is of my lunch this afternoon. It was awful. I got a take-away lunch from a fast food joint in the hospital. It was expensive, not nutritious and tasted bad. So, why did I do it? A great question given I have been posting non-stop about how bad money has been and how coping with student poverty sucks. Well, the simple answer to this is that I don’t have any time to cook. None.

I have a great selection of terrific cookbooks and a kitchen that I usually adore to cook in. With my practicum and side jobs, my ability and incentive to cook after a really long day of working has disappeared. Actually, disappeared to the point that I have lost five pounds, which is excellent given I felt that my studies have made me fat. Now I only have five pounds to lose until I reach my goal weight.

What I do want is to reach my goal weight in a more healthy way. And, I don’t want to become ironically broke in the process by binging on expensive take-away food as my only source of nutrients.

I know that things are not going to be ideal while I am studying, but I know that I can do better than I’ve been doing. With the exception of eating in restaurants as a form of entertainment on the rare occassion that I see my friends, I want to eat every meal at home or brought from home from this point on. Getting rehabilitated from my new take-away obsession will not be easy because it will mean that I must plan for and prepare my meals carefully regardless of a very busy schedule.

A classmate of mine suggested that I check out THIS site for great work lunch ideas. I think that phase one of my rehabilitation will be to cut out food court grabs during lunch hour at the hospital. I have to get this under control. It can mean a lot of savings.

10 Stupid Things That People in Relationships Say to Their Single Friends

I love my friends, and I am glad that the majority of them are in satisfying and loving relationships. I think that a lot of them feel a bit guilty because they have someone to love in their lives but I don`t. It doesn`t come up all of the time, but on the rare occassion, I get some unsolicited dating advice from my friends that kind of rub me the wrong way.

I have decided to compile my list of favourites to share, along with my reply to these famous comments. I guess the point of this post is to be mindful of what we say to our single friends. Single life can be a blessing, but if it is not what you desire at a certain point of your life, it can be a really difficult time.

YOUR STANDARDS ARE TOO HIGH  {Answer} So what if the guy that dumped you is unemployed, a seasoned criminal, cruel, and doesn’t bathe? Where do you go from there?

YOU DON’T HAVE HIGH ENOUGH STANDARDS {Answer} Well, I must admit, sometimes I have dated people that are way better than me and/or out of my league. This can sound a bit patronizing.

YOU KEEP PICKING THE WRONG KIND OF GUY {Answer}So not only am I unlucky at dating, I am also lack the basic human aptitude to select a suitable mate? It is amazing that natural selection hasn’t weeded me out by now!

YOU SHOULD REALLY BROADEN YOUR DATING OPTIONS {Answer}To other species?

DID YOU EVER CONSIDER ONLINE DATING?{Answer}When ever people suggest this, I tell them about the philosopher that sent me unsolicited dirty pictures of himself through his phone. That usually shuts them up.

DON’T WORRY YOU’LL MEET SOMEONE THIS SUMMER! I KNOW IT! {Answer} Wow (friend), not only are you in a relationship, but you are an oracle too. How lucky!

DON’T WORRY YOU’LL MEET THE RIGHT GUY JUST AS SOON AS YOU MOVE, CHANGE JOBS, FINISH YOUR MSW… {Answer}The problem with telling your friends that they will find Mr. Right after some landmark event, is that if it doesn’t come true by the deadline, things get pretty awkward.

BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THAT FUN…YOU’LL WISH THAT YOU WERE SINGLE{Answer}Just because I am not in a relationship now doesn’t mean that I have no reference of dating/relationships to look back on. Although relationships can suck, they can be fun too.

GUYS ARE ALL REALLY DUMB. YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM {Answer} Really? So tell me again why you are planning a lavish wedding with a dummy?

YOU’LL MEET HIM WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT {Answer} I hope that this comment is really true because I think it would be fun if Mr. Right jumps out of my closet or out of my laundry hamper one morning.

A Few New Developments

So as you know, I have been bummed out lately because of all of the work that I’ve been doing. I also hit a huge wall when I found out that I didn’t get the scholarship that I really needed to get in order to be financially secure during the upcoming year. I was literally on my knees in tears figuring out how I was going to make it all happen given my school committments.

Two things have just happened that will hopefully pull me through this mess and get me to where I want to be in the upcoming year.

ONE My grandmother and mom have pulled together to offer me a bit of help so that I can get through this program without becoming homeless. I can’t believe that they were able to do this for me given their small incomes. They have both stuggled to make ends meet in their life, and I know that it is hard for them to see me in such a state. I appreciate the help that they have given me. I can’t wait to have them both by my side at my graduation!

TWO I can’t do the restaurant job anymore. Working seven days per week is just not possible while I have a practicum that I must put my full attention to. Also, I am amazed at how much I have changed as a person and how impossible it is for me to fit into the service industry at my age. I have recently realized how structured my worklife is. Not to bash those in the service industry, but the majority seem to be very unorganized, vulgar, and very keen on spending their earnings in bars following a shift. It is not a life for me anymore. Even if it is meant to help me make money so that I can move to England. I am going to keep looking for that ideal job that will pull me through. I had my final shift today and I am thrilled.

I hope there will be smoother sailing from this point on.

{Hard Times} Why My MSW Experience is Killing Me

Before I got into my MSW program, I worked my butt off to reduce my debt so that I could afford to go through this program. I didn’t buy anything, Hanging out with friends occassionally was a treat, clothes and stuff to make me feel good about myself was out of the question. I worked hard and often two jobs. Really hard jobs too such as in group homes and shelters.

I am on financial aid for this program, and it does not cater to the adult learner. It only allows you 1000.00 to live on per month as a grad student, and if you want to make money on the side, forget it. You will only be allowed 50.00 extra per week on top of the assistance. If I was 2o-something, I would live with several roomates so that my costs would be reduced… but try to find a group of roomates in your 30s in this city. Average rent in this city is 850.00 per month. Can you survive on $150.00 per month for food, clothing, utilities, transportation, entertainment and school supplies?

Right now I have a restaurant job, a research job, a full-time 9-5 practicum and two courses this summer just to keep myself going. It is so hard, I can’t even think straight. Over the past 9 months I have seen my line of credit slowly creep up do the school related expenses. I was really hoping that I would receive an OGS (graduate scholarship) so that I would not have to work so much outside of my 35 hour per week practium and two courses, but alas, I was not lucky. The scholarship would have killed my debt and allowed me the opportunity to enjoy my graduate experience a little more.

Now I am left with the unfortunate task of figuring out how I am going to get through the next 10 months on a shoe-string, and keep a balanced life as a work harder to survive than I ever have before. How little could you get by on if you had to?

Fixed Expenses

$920 – Rent plus basic insurance (Can’t get cheaper in downtown Toronto)

$75 – Telephone and internet (don’t have cable or television)

$120 – Debt repayment

$0 – Transportation (bike)

$15- Health (basic meds)

$40- Cosmetics, clothing and beauty (I work in a professional environment)

** Wild card: Everything else goes to Fergus, food, entertainment, and school supplies…

What is it Medical Social Workers Do?

When I started sniffing around for answers to this question before I began my practicum, I found that the majority of medical social workers struggled to answer this question. Over time, I have discovered that social workers in a hosptial setting generally feel uneasy about their roles because, well their role is not well defined. The word on the street is that medical social workers are “semi-professionals”. Really? What is that, and why it that more so in a medical setting? The reason for this is because social work does not operate on its own theoretical framework or practice perspective. Social work borrows from all sorts of disciplines (such as psychology and sociology) which is a problem when professional social workers try to define their role within a hospital setting.

The word on the street is that if any staff budget cuts were to occur within a hospital, social workers (as professionals) would be the first to go, because of their lack of unique role. As a result, social workers within a hosptial setting tend to take on countless different roles in the desperate attempt to look useful. Think of that geeky awkward kid in the playground that is always enthusiastic to lend out his string, and rubber ball, and stays on the lookout for teachers while the cool kids practice kissing behind brick wall. Medical social workers are kind of like that. Always trying to be useful to the cool kids in the playground.

All jokes aside, the role of a hosptial social worker is very broad. In order to begin to provide you with an idea of the work that is done, a case study could be used to illustrate the role.

Mr. Jones is a 43 year old single father that has just arrived to the hospital because his 17 year old daughter collapsed at her restaurant job due to a liver condition that she has been living with for the past year. His daughter (Lea) is a bit of  a wild child, does not take care of her health, skips school, and neglects to take her medications on a regular basis. Mr. Jones became aggressive in the hospital waiting room. He is frustrated because he recently lost his job, is behind on their rent, can’t cope with a teenage daughter and does not know how he will be able to afford the money to pay for the gas to travel to the hospital several times per week for Lea to receive treatment.

How can a social worker in a hosptial setting offer support to Lea and her father?

COUNSELLING Perhaps Lea’s father can benefit from some support to help dealing with the stress that comes from job loss or communicating with a teenage daughter? Does Lea need some support to help her to understand her illness? Perhaps this family has some issues that they have been neglecting to talk about for a long time that reveals during times of stress or crisis?

REFERRALS AND RESOURCES Is there a resource in Lea and her father’s community that can assist them with their financial, housing and employment issues? How about a support group for single parents or a charity that can offer finacial support to parents that require to travel for medical appointments for their children with medical illnesses?

ADVOCACY Perhaps Lea and her father struggle to understand the recommedations and medical terminology that the doctors and nurses use around them? Could it be possible that every time Lea and her father visit a hospital, they do not feel heard, wait around for hours and get sent home without having all of their questions answered? Perhaps if they someone on their side that we more interested in them and not Lea’s illness, they would feel better about the diagnosis.

My MSW Practicum Dream Has Come True

Imagine having  a career dream that you have been slowly cultivating for over six years. Imagine having people tell you that your learning goal is impossible to achieve, and that your goals are unrealistic given the volume of people who would also like to have the same opportunity.

Well blog readers. My dream has come true. For the next four months, I will be working in one of the best children’s hospitals in the world. I will be a student social worker in cardiac and heart transplant and my transition to becoming a real social work professional will begin to unfold.

For this practicum, I am most afraid of the level of knowledge and experience that I will be surrounded with at any given day. Like most students, I don’t want to look dumb in front of the doctors, nurses and other professionals that are working in this environment.

I also hope that my exhaustion from working two other jobs and the course that I am taking at school won’t wear me down and take away from my learning experience.

With that said, I am going to give this learning opportunity my 1oo% best. I am aiming for excellence and really want to make my mark at this place. Of course I won’t be able to discuss specific cases because of the issue of patient confidentiality, but I do hope to share my impressions on a variety of topics that are related to professional practice on my journey.

I am going to leave you tonight with a few thoughts. Never let anyone define your dreams for you. If you want something to happen, you have got to make it happen. Always be creative. If one way doesn’t work, try to find a new way to meet the objective. Finally, never ever take no for an answer. I have learned over the past few years to not listen to those people that tell me no. I refuse to let go of my dreams to appear more favourable to those that try to keep me down (a good example of this was my school’s practicum office trying to take another practicum when I knew that the one at the hospital was the best choice for me). Trust your heart and your instincts always.

Hot Docs Fail

Yesterday LJ and I went to see a film at the HotDocs film festival. It was called All Divided Selves and it was about a psychiatrist from Glasgow called R.D. Laing who was very “experimental” in his approach to therapy with Schizophrenic clients in the 60s and 70s. What could have been a good and informative historical  film on treatment ended up being a hot mess of an art film. Although beautiful photos of urban decay and medical history, the content of the film was just lost in absurd banter about some wacky treatment philosophy.

So instead we met up with LJ’s boyfriend Christopher and we had some drinks…

Oranges and Sunshine {Brit Film Review}

You can imagine how excited I was when I found many of my favourite things all rolled up into a film. Emily Watson, social work and England.  Although the film covers a true story about difficult subject matter, I found it enjoyable (and informative) to watch.

Emily Watson (a British social worker) discovers that hundreds of English children in care, in the 50s and 60s were shipped to Australia by the government and were not told about their identities. Watson portrays a very realistic and convincing social worker. It is so refreshing to see social workers being portrayed as a positive and empowered engine within the health care profession.

If you are a social work educator, this film can be used as an exercise for students to practice their social work engagement skills, community development and in learning ethics.

4.5/5 stars

Tea cup

LJ and I went to have drinks at a bar tonight. On our way home, we stopped by the charity shop for a tipsy browse…

I bought…

A tea cup and saucer…